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Okay, lemme just sum up an entire rant in a metaphor.

Watching New Moon was like going to the bank. It's boring and tedious, but you have to do it, and you get SOME sort of payoff in the end.

Now, onto the REAL rant.

First off, Kristin Stwerart. Just. God. God.
Why the fuck is she even being paid for this. She is a terrible, HORRIBLE actress. She can't act worth a flying shit. She can't act for a STATIONARY shit. In the scene where Edward leaves her, apparently to Kristin Stewart, repeating Edward's name quietly to herself with absolutely no feeling constitutes as acting.

Oh, and her shitty over-blinking-twitching-shit is back and better than ever in this movie.

She just CAN'T ACT. She has NO TALENT. NONE. And when she's screaming in her sleep, she sounds like a goose getting its manparts cut off with a pair of dull scissors. She can't act scared, happy, sad, anything. Except angry; I will admit she does an adequate job at acting angry.

But she's still a horrible actress. HORRIBLE.

And now for Edward.

Why does he look like a crack addict. Why does he look like he hasn't showered in weeks. Why does he never fucking LOOK AT WHOEVER THE FUCK HE'S TALKING TO!? Seriously; unless he's standing centimeters away from someone, he NEVER looks at them (except when he's talking to Jacob but that's for DRAMATIC TENSION OOOOO). Instead, he stares at the floor and angsts. This is the first bit of the movie summed up:

Bella: *whines complains sounds like a man twitches bad acting kisses Edward*

Edward: *whispers in a rapist gravelly voice kisses Bella never opens his eyes all the way or has an actual emotion other than angst*

Jasper: *totally has my support for trying to kill Bella*

Emmet: *also has my support because he's a badass*

Alice: *is hot, and can act, which is like, unheard of in this movie*

Carlisle and Esme and Rosalie: *are just there to take up screentime*

OH AND THEN

We have Jacob. The only interesting main character in the Twilight Sagapalooza.

Okay, Taylor Lautner (or however the fuck you spell it) is a decent actor. Not Academy Award Winning, but at this point in the film, I'm pretty much begging for an emotion other than angst. The only issues are that 1. He still has that hideous wig thing in his hair from the first movie for the first third of the film, and 2. His voice isn't deep enough to carry his emotions all that well. BUT, that's not his fault that his voice has yet to deepen, BUT STILL.

And he'd take his shirt off at the slightest provocation e.e It was like:

Bella: Oh, Jacob, this chair is soooo hard!

Jacob: Don't worry, here's my shirt *rips it off* Use it as a cushion.

AND THE SAD PART IS, THAT STUPID SCENE WAS PROBABLY IN AN EARLY DRAFT OF THE SCRIPT.

So yeah, I didn't hate Jacob.

AND THE VOLTURI HOMFG THEY ARE SO COOL I'M NOT EVEN BEING SARCASTIC RIGHT NOW GOD DAMN IT
I mean seriously, they are awesome. *I* want to be a Volturi. Screw the fucking Cullens (except Alice cuz I luff her). They're just so badass.

The special effects were a lot better. The wolves look like they came from Shrek; they were not that realistic. But I can say wolves are my favorite animal now; they're just so cool >w< The vampire jumps and runs still have that stupid photoshop blur effect though. But their contact lenses are much more awesome in this movie :3

So.........yeah. This movie WAS better than the first film. Better budget, better director, better editing, and the Volturi. It's not a good movie at all, but go see it anyway.